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About this conversation

Most nonprofit leaders know the feeling: we need to raise more money. In this conversation, Hugh Ballou asked Alex to look underneath that. What does a fundraising problem reveal about how an organization practices trust, clarity, shared commitment and accountability?

Alex's answer starts from a simple observation. The money is a lagging indicator. By the time you are sitting with a donor, the conversation is revealing everything that came before it: how clear the strategy is, whether the team is aligned, whether the breakdowns were addressed, and what the person asking is carrying into the room.

Five ideas from the conversation

1. Diagnose before you prescribe. (3:48) When a leader says "we have a fundraising problem," the numbers matter: fewer donors, smaller gifts, asks that aren't happening. But Alex also asks qualitative questions. Can your executive director, your board chair and one staff member each describe the future impact you're working toward, in the same way? What happened in your last three asks? What are you afraid will happen if the donor says no? Reflect: If you asked those three people this week, would their answers match?

2. Donors aren't buying a widget. (6:39) A fundraising relationship is unusual. It's a shared commitment to a future that doesn't exist yet. Donors aren't only giving money; they're asking you to hold a commitment they can't fulfil on their own. That makes the organization and its donors peers in creating that future. It also means the most important thing to report back is not just activity, but what changed in the people you serve, and who they became. Reflect: What do your donors hear back about the change their commitment made possible?

3. Approval isn't commitment. (15:59) "Approval looks a lot like nodding… a unanimous vote, great plan. But commitment looks like someone putting their own name on it that lives in time or money." Not every board member needs to ask for money. Every board member can learn to hold the invitation. Alex shares the questions he uses ("What will you personally do about this before the next time we meet?") and how to support people in keeping their commitments without shaming them. Reflect: When your board says yes, what's the next question you ask?

4. A "no" is information. (18:12) No can mean not now, not this project, not this amount, or not me asking. Alex tells the story of a long-time funder who went quiet at the ask, and who said yes once the program director they trusted invited them in. "The no in that situation was not me as the asker." Reflect: Think of a recent no. Which of those four might it have been?

5. You can't install fundability. (21:19) Hugh describes fundraising as an activity and fundability as an organizational condition. Alex sees alignment as the internal part of that condition: whether people inside the organization agree on the future, trust each other, and can each carry the invitation. "I don't think you can install fundability… you practice your way into it. You keep promises, you tell the truth about what isn't working." Reflect: Which promise, kept consistently, would most strengthen your organization's credibility?

Two practices to try

Before your next donor conversation (14:48). Take a few minutes. First, reflect on what this donor cares about. Then ask yourself: what's speaking in me right now? As Alex puts it, centering isn't a soft skill about breathing. It's noticing what messages you're carrying before you step into the room.

Before your next leadership meeting (25:00). Tell the truth early, to yourself and your team, especially about what's not working.

Beyond fundraising

Alex teaches leadership, and fundraising is the dojo: one of the clearest places to see how we lead, communicate and build commitment with other people. The patterns in this conversation aren't unique to donors. Mistaking approval for commitment, over-explaining when we're afraid, avoiding the conversation about what didn't work: these show up in every team that needs people to move from agreement to action.

Rapid-fire (23:53)

One assumption to reconsider: that donors need to be convinced. They already care; your job is to find out where. · One sign a board is aligned: board members bring you names without being asked. · One habit before a donor meeting: sit in silence for a couple of minutes and ask, what's speaking through me right now? · One question that helps a donor feel heard: what do you hope changes in the world because of what you gave?

About The Nonprofit Exchange

The Nonprofit Exchange is hosted by Hugh Ballou, founder of SynerVision Leadership Foundation, and shares tools and wisdom from leaders for leaders. Hugh's book Creating a Fundable Nonprofit explores the organizational conditions that make an organization worthy of investment. Visit The Nonprofit Exchange →

Go deeper

If these ideas resonate, Foundations of Donor Alignment is a free course where Alex goes further into the philosophy behind them, and how to practice it in a real donor conversation. Start the free course →